Today I randomly woke up with a chip on my shoulder. I have days where I feel unsure of my ability to be consistent. I want to update my blog every day, but I know there’s going to be some dark days where I won’t feel like doing anything. I hope this is ok with some of you. I am human.
Any who, I was talking to a friend the other day about relationships. I’m insecure yes. I admit that and I’m working on that (it’s ok to admit your faults btw. You’re already ahead of the game if you can point them out in the first place. ) I told her that insecurity often ties into depression. The dictionary defines insecure to mean “not confident or assured; unconcerned and anxious”. All symptoms of depression. I’ve dealt with some toxic people in my life, some who made me believe that I wasn’t much of anything. When you meet someone that makes you feel worth something you tend to try to hold it close to you. I have days where I don’t want to be bothered and I have others when I feel the total opposite.
Insecurities in relationships often come from being afraid to be alone. People that suffer from depression has trouble finding people to trust. Once they do find a partner their anxiety tend to rise. I often feel myself trying to be a perfectionist in my relationships with people. When I make what I consider a mistake I shut down completely. Sometimes I can’t take hurting or disappointing others. It physically hurts me. My body aches like I’ve been working out. I thought it was weird until I looked it up. Millions of people all over the world has this same issue. You can actually get this medically treated, but most of us won’t.
I have two ways for you to work through this issue (this is what I do):
- Talk to your friends/ partner about what’s bothering you. Yes, this may sound simple to others but I for one knows how hard this is. It has to be done. If you don’t express yourself then you’ll feel worst. Talk to them and if they have trouble understanding where you’re coming from then it may be time to let that relationship go. Sometimes we think letting people go is bad but a lot of times it makes us feel A LOT better. Toxic people hinder you from growth.
- Do some type of exercise. I’m not a fitness guru at all and I’m not trying to be but working out clears your mind. It doesn’t have to be the typical lifting weights or running, it could be yoga, pool exercises, any sport etc. be active and get fresh air.
You could always talk to me too. I mean that’s what I’m here for anyway. #thisiswhatdepressionlookslike