I’ve always had to compromise what I wanted to make others happy. For a while, I was seeking acceptances from others. I didn’t do things I actually enjoyed until I got older. I was always the black sheep. Black sheep of my friends, my family, my coworkers etc. I use to think that being different was a problem. I’ve always hated being called weird because I dressed, talked, acted, handle situations differently from others. Often people use words such as: weird, different, and unique in a negative connotation. They make it seems like it’s a bad thing to not be like everyone else and that can damage a person.
For a long time I didn’t like how I looked. I always wanted to wear unique clothing, cut my hair off, have tattoos and piercings etc., but I was scared of being judged. I didn’t want others around me to look and treat me like some kind of freak. I think once I turned 21 I finally started to look how I wanted to. I had a bad breakdown and I just wanted to be a new me. A real me. So that week I dyed my hair purple and cut it off. I felt like a weight was lifted of my shoulders. I looked at myself and saw a better me. A glowing me. I had so many people tell me I was crazy for doing so, but I had others that embraced the change. I eventually got my lip and nose piercing and I felt my identity being seen. I was told I looked stupid, that I would never get a job, that a man would never want to be with some that looks like I did. I didn’t care anymore.
Also, my taste in music has always been different than a lot of my friends. I’ve often missed a lot of shows or sets at festivals because no one wanted to go with me to see an artist I liked. I’ve also seen a lot of people I wouldn’t have paid to see just to satisfy my friends. One day I just didn’t care anymore. I started seeing who I wanted, whether I had to go by myself or just buy an extra ticket for someone to go with me. We often make sacrifices for people that wouldn’t do the same for us and we have to pay attention to those signs.
Accepting your identity all start from self-love. The acceptance from others is ok but if you’re not happy with how you look and the thing you do in like then why does that even matter? You have to take care of you. One thing I did to get that assurance was going to a concert by myself. You’re not always going to have someone there that want to do things you like. Don’t miss opportunities because you feel like you need a crew everywhere you go. Also, don’t let others tell you what you should and should not do! I can’t stress it enough that things you’re into is someone else’s interest too. You’re never the only person in the world that likes something. Just because the homies say something is weird doesn’t mean it’s bad. Different is great sometimes and embrace it.
One major thing people don’t realize is that the people around you most time control how you feel. Make sure to keep people around you that treats you the way you treat them. You should never have to sacrifice more than 50% of the time. There should always be a balance. Also, communication is key. If you don’t verbalize how you feel about things people won’t know it bothers you nor do they know you’re serious about anything. You have to express what you feel, be open minded to others opinions BUT don’t just do what they say. Take into consideration but don’t just jump in their corner. Have a backbone. You honestly don’t own anyone an explanation when it comes to how you want to look because it’s your body but if you’re the type of person that prefer having feedback from your peers then at least fight for you want. #thisiswhatdepressionlookslike