One of my BIGGEST fears is change. I’m someone that likes everything planned and organized the way I’m used to, and when it’s not then, I get thrown off completely. Although we often want change for the better, we tend to be scared of changing situations mainly because we’re afraid of making the wrong choice. When stuff isn’t like we’re use to, it tend to make us upset, and a lot of times, standoffish. French Poet, Anatole France said, “All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy, for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another.” This meaning that even though we want to evolve, we tend to get dejected with the thought of changing what we’re use to.
My whole adult life has been spent soul searching. I worked at a job I hated for almost seven years simply because I had gotten comfortable. Not only that job; my relationships, my living situation, and even my image stayed the same. I didn’t want to mess up what was “working” for me. This made me slip into a really bad depression. I was very unhappy with my life, but I was scared of making my life look unfamiliar to me. It took me cutting my hair for me to be comfortable with change. I was having trouble in my relationship (something else I held on to for five plus years knowing it wasn’t working out). I wanted to leave that situation a different person, so I dyed and cut my hair. I loved it. I felt better, my skin was glowing, and people around me felt the happiness from my decision. After that, I looked for another job. I was determined to leave my old life behind. Yes, I’ve slipped up and went backwards, but with doing that I realized that my new choice was the change I needed to grow.
A lot of people tend to go into depression when their life changes drastically like:
- Finishing school ( High School and/ or College)
- Getting Married
- Having children
- Obtaining a disability
These are hard to fully adjust to, especially at the beginning stages. Most people tend to gain weight, lose friends, and slip in debt with these changes. This is when those who you do have come in handy. We tend to have to hear from others that the decisions we make are ok ones. No, not every decision you make are good ones, but embracing what your new life is, and looking ways to move forward is what has to be done. If you don’t feel like you have a friend or family member you could talk to about this, consider seeing a therapist or joining a support group. I totally understand why that doesn’t sound like desirable solutions, but sometimes you have to put yourself in uncomfortable situations to grow. We all have to talk to someone and the feedback you get back is very helpful.
A lot of us live “safe”. Although we’re not happy with our jobs, love lives, and/or our overall life paths we tend to go with the flow and not “fix what’s not broken”. This leaves our life at a complete stand still. If you’re not willing to change then most times you’ll be stuck behind, not growing while others around you are evolving. This is one way to slip into a deep depression. One thing I learned over time was that change (even “bad” change) is something we need for life to be worth living. The excitement about waking up and loving what we do, or what we have dies when it’s the same over and over again. Sometime if you change up what you do weekly, monthly, sometimes even yearly so you won’t always know what to expect. This makes things interesting. Like Bill Clinton once said, “The price of doing the same old thing is far higher than the price of change.”#thisiswhatdepressionlookslike