Letting go.

Letting go of any kind a relationship is some of the hardest things we have to go through in life. Things like money and materials are temporary, but the love you have for somebody that you’re close to or was once close to is something that’s pretty much unconditional. I’ve often had the argument with people about money being a key factor in life and yes, I understand why you feel that way, but there’s always ways to get money legally and unfortunately, illegally. Some people won’t ever experience real love. The love you get from somebody that totally changes your emotions whether it’s pure happiness or cold heartbreak. No this is not me telling you that heartbreak is something I want you to experience, but heartbreak has made me a better person. Heartbreak has made me grown into someone that thinks before they speak, someone thinks before they act, and someone who’s strong.

I can honestly say that I’ve been heartbroken twice in my life. One being harder to cope with. I spent my whole adult life with the same person. It was something on and off but he was someone that was always around. There were times where I couldn’t see my life without him and there were times where I felt like I was settling. I was use to our relationship, even at its roughest. I was also scared of being alone. I didn’t know what to do but stay. When I did finally leave I felt a mixture of ways. A part of me was liberated and free to do what I wanted to do. A big part of me felt bad. It was all we knew for five + years and I didn’t know what’ll happened next for both of us. For the first time I decided to stand ground and not back track. I moved on completely and thought of my happiness for once.

As much as I would like to say that romantic relationships is one of the hardest things to let go, I personally think a close friendship is harder to let go. Some of our closest friends we’ve been friends with for 10+ years. A lot of friends that you’ve been friends with that long honestly are only friends solely because of the longevity. I had a very close friend to me that I’ve known since I was 12 years old. I often thought we were different in our younger years but as we got older I realized that we were growing out of each other. We were living separate lives that were nothing alike, we were into things that were completely different, and we often had differences that seems to be jealousy. It began to become unhealthy. When we love someone we often are blind to their flaws. A lot of times were suffering because of them, but were in denial that our loved one is the problem.

Dealing with unhealthy relationships are often draining. Emotionally and physically draining. Often times we’re sadden by the thought of our relationship coming to an end. We try our best to hold on to things and “fixing them” when in reality the situation isn’t even fixable anymore. I can honestly say that letting go of someone that has been physically drained me have been a big lift off of my shoulders. Just thinking about the situations now makes me emotional, but at the end of it all, I was able to live the way that I live now and not feel like I’m being challenged or held back in some sort of way. If you don’t take care of yourself then no one will. You have to learn to let go, embrace the change, and not backtrack. Remember that when seeds grow its impossible to shrink, you only grow or die out.  #thisiswhatdepressionlookslike



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