The Idea of Growth.

Sometimes I feel like I’ve came along way with my depression issues. Other days I feel like I’m exactly the same as before. I still have common traits of someone who severely suffers from Depression. My most common trait being the lack of drive to do anything. When I first started my blog, I was excited. I wanted to post every day and change lives. That drive was short lived. I come off as someone with so much ambition and confident but in all reality I have my ups and downs. I spend a lot of time thinking about isolating myself from everyone. Working on myself and growing on my own. No one understands what I go through mentally and I often feel like no one cares. I often feel like I take one step forward then something happens and knocks me two steps back. I think the fraud took a big toll on me. Mainly because I still haven’t fully bounce back from it.
I grew up in a household where my grandmother was the backbone of the family. I wanted to be just like her. She was a strong woman who everyone respected. One thing I learned about my grandma as I got older was that she wasn’t as strong as we saw her. She often had adversities but handled them on her own. She didn’t want to show a sign of weakness. I’m like her a lot when it comes to that. I would never tell you I’m struggling in any way, shape, or form. That’s not good. Sometimes you need help so you can figure out things faster. A lot of people complain when it comes to helping others, and I understand, but I view it as a positive thing. If people don’t ever need you or want you around then what’s your true purpose?
Growth requires communication. Having someone to talk to is key. A lot of us think we’re are strong enough to do things on our own. This is mainly because we’ve been forced to handle thing on our own. Isolation starts from lack of interaction from others. At a young age, kids pick and choose who they should and should not befriend. Who’s “weird” and who’s “normal”. A lot of them don’t grow out of that mind state. Which is why people fall into depression trying to make others happy and/or satisfied. Trying to buy things or go places that they can’t afford. Trying to earn money illegally because the jobs they qualify for isn’t something they would like to do. This is because of lack of growth. This is when working as a team is key. Two people from two different walks of life could be going through the same exact thing mentally. Whether you’re depressed because you’re struggling financially or depressed because you make a lot of money so you don’t know who your real friends or not, YOU’RE BOTH SUFFERING FROM THE SAME THING. We’re are more alike than we realize.
I been looking into places to have meetups and just panel discussions about different topics for different people from different walks of life to open up. Help one another by telling your story. Just because your upbringing was different doesn’t mean your mental state is. I think by constantly reminding myself that I still have time to grow and I need to associate myself with people I can open up to, will allow me to get over the hump that I’m struggling with. #thisiswhatdepressionlookslike

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