For the last few days I’ve been celebrating my birthday as well as networking. For those who are new to checking out my blog I would like to start off by saying welcome. I hope my thoughts are not only informative, but also inspiring. My overall goal for my blog is for us to be aware of mental illness, and for us to work together to overcome it the best way possible. For those who been tuning in since day one I want to say thank you. I really hope that my blog is relatable is some way shape or form. I’m getting pretty mushy so back to the scheduled program haha…
Toxic relationships are one of the hardest things to not only deal with, but to overcome. A lot of toxic relationships start early with your parents. Whether it’s abuse (both mentally and physically), lack of support, or just overall neglect we tend to be effected by this in a big way. When I was growing up, I had a pretty decent relationship with my parents. My dad and I did clash for a long time. We didn’t see eye to eye on a lot, mainly because I was his only daughter and he was really strict on me. I often felt lonely because I couldn’t do things with my friends. On top of that, I was often neglected. Both my brothers played sports, so they often were away. My grandparents, who I stayed with, worked a lot. I often sat in my room crying because I didn’t have anymore. I was two completely different people when I was at school and at home. When I was at school, I was this energetic fun human being with a lot of friends to talk and hang out with, but at home, I was this depressed teenager isolated in her room writing and often crying to herself. Once I got the confidence to do so, I had a discussion with my father. It was difficult at first, but once he herd what I had to say and really thought about it he understood and gave me more freedom.
A lot of times it’s not that easy to resolve. Most toxic people in your life has to be cut loose. This is hard for most of us because we often love these people and overall care for that person. Romantic relationships, for example, are hard to let go especially when the feelings for that person is strong. I was in a relationship where, for years, we would just argue and break up. It was draining. I often felt like we were holding each other back because we weren’t good for each other. The fighting messed with me a lot mentally and sometimes even physically. My weight would fluctuate, my attitude would be bad, my thought process was often negative, and I often got sick. It was draining and I knew I couldn’t stay but I loved him. I didn’t want to hurt him even if that meant that I would be unhappy. When I did finally let go I had two completely different feeling. On one hard I felt liberated and free to be myself. On the other hand, I felt like a horrible person who hurt someone I once loved unconditionally.
I can’t sit here and tell you that once you cut off a love one that you’ll feel better because that’s not true. It’s going to hurt at first. You’re going to feel bad and I won’t be surprise if you back track a couple of times. This is normal, but once you eliminate that negative energy I can say that the future is way brighter. A lot of these people don’t support your dreams or hold you back from overall progression. When you eliminate that wall, you can do what you feel without that pressure. I remember seeing a post on Twitter and a guy said, “Why is it that females wait until she leaves a man to better her life?” It’s not that someone waits to leave their partner to make moves, sometimes that other person is holding you back. Remember this, if someone in your like isn’t supporting your dreams or being a team player overall, you should probably stay away from that person. It’s hard to do anything without the proper support. Don’t let anyone make you feel self-conscious about the moves you make, but also don’t isolate yourself without reasoning. If you care for someone talk to them about your concern before cutting them ff. give them a chance to understand. #thisiswhatdepressionlookslike.